Missing

The end is near, just over a week is left until I leave Kansas behind forever. Or at least for anything other than visits. In an effort to make this separation easier I have been making a list of things I will not miss about Kansas:

• Weather that changes by the minute
• snow in May. And just snow and cold in general
• Starbucks is an hour away
• when in rains, it down pours 
• not being able to watch the Canucks play
• every drive is a long one
• school
• being far away from family

The problem is the other list, of things I am going to miss, is much longer:

• late night Wal-Mart or Druber's runs (Druber's is a donut shop that only opens at 11PM and stays open all night)
• singing and dancing in the rain (even if it only happened once)
• breakfast club at 6:30 am(a group of girls that get together for a Bible study once a week)
• rush hour traffic consisting of cars leaving from church after Sunday service
• thunder storms
• warmth lasting until October and starting again in March (most of the time)
• singing Les Mis while shopping at Wal-Mart
• backyard BBQs with the neighborhood
• movie marathons
• talking in fake British accents
• random conversations with friends ranging from light-hearted to serious and spiritual
• the three most beautiful children I got to love on these past years
• random road trips
• the Sunday school kids who say some of the funniest and most random things and make everything so much better
• the politeness of a small community that rivals even the politeness that Canadians are known for (think waving at everyone and anyone who walks or drives by)
• Super Bowl parties (and parties for anything else we can think of)
• all the surprise birthday parties
• playing cards with my adopted grandparents (also known as the grandparents of my best friend)
• going to Tabor football games (even though I don't even like football)
• some of the best friends a girl could ask for <3

Yeah, it's hard to leave this place. But new memories will be formed in a new place. And I will always have the memories (and friendships) from this place. <3

Leaving is Hard, Staying isn't Easy

Graduation. It is nearly here. 33 days away by my count. And then what you might ask? Then what will I do. This graduation is an interesting phenomenon. For 23 years I have waited for this, to be done with school. Done forever. Or maybe just temporarily, but for a length of time. For 17 years I have been a student. Interesting how slow is goes until it is over. Now I look back and wonder where the time went. It was so fast. Just 5 years ago I graduated from high school. Just a kid really, unsure what life was really about. No real idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. And 5 years before that, entering high school for the first time, perhaps that is the first step into adulthood. The first point where you have to start making your own decisions about your education. And then bam, 10 years went by and here I am. Graduating from college. With a degree in hand and the chance to get a real job in the real world. And suddenly it all happened so fast. Too fast. Sometimes I feel unprepared for this moment. There are still so many unknowns - what is life going to look like now? Where am I going to end up? What am I going to do? What is the goal in life now? For so long we are taught as students to get through the school year. You see the count downs on people's Facebook profiles, you hear the excitement when there is just one paper left, you see their shouts of 'freedom' when they are done. Rarely do you think of the final freedom, until suddenly here you are. 33 days away from being free from school forever. And then what? Perhaps that is the million dollar question.
So, and then what? in 33 days I will walk across a stage, receive my two degrees, and move on from Tabor College. That isn't easy, as the title of this post says. Neither decision is easy. I cannot imagine leaving this place (though I will) any more than I can imagine staying here. In the past two and half years (has it really been that long?) this place has become home to me. Just as much a home as my other home thousands of miles away. Maybe you have heard it in my talking...I refer to both places as home which confuses most. Maybe you don't know at all. But I have lived here for so long, been here for longer consecutively then I have been at my other home in two and half years. So how do you leave? With tears, of course. There are people I love here. People I don't want to leave. But the same is true of my other home, and it has been hard to be separated from them for so long as well. Life always changes, and this is the biggest change of them all.
So, to answer the question. I am planning on returning to BC if you could not tell. The family and friends the mountain and the ocean, they all call me home (even while I love Kansas, it is beautiful in its own way). I will be looking for a job in child welfare (so if you hear of anything, let me know). I don't know exactly what this will look like, and I will not be picky. I just want to get employed. Ideally, at the entry level I would love a job in CPS and perhaps the government will end their hiring freeze just in time for them to hire me. Time will tell. If not CPS, I would like a job working with families and youth, providing services, keeping them together. That is my ideal. What will actually happen is completely unknown, and as I said I will not be picky. I have already applied for random jobs that have some social work skills in them. And then I will wait and see. I do, at this point, plan to get a Master's degree. Probably in social work, but perhaps in counseling. We will see where God takes me and what fits with where I am when I go to take that step. Other than that I have no plans. Immediately following graduation, I will begin the long road trip back with my parents, who will be driving their 5th wheel. I will re-acclimate myself to life in BC. I will do a lot of job searching. And I will see where God is going to take me. I am excited for this new adventure. Excited for what is going to happen, even if it is unknown. Even if it is hard. The whole world is open to me, and I will find a door to go through and see where the journey leads.
That is what is next. A long season of changing and unknowns. A new adventure.

March Madness

No, not the basketball kind. I am too Canadian to really enjoy basketball. Though I have watched a couple of games...but only because I was hanging out with friends who wanted to watch the games and I wanted to hang out with them. But, regardless of basketball, I have had a very busy and fun March. Of course I worked a lot in my internship (see previous posts for some updates) but I also had some other good times. So here it goes, in pictures of course.

First, at the end of February was my roommate Julia's birthday (I know this is not technically March but that is okay). Whitney and I were feeling creative and we made her an epic cake.

Yes those are pigs, yes they are edible, yes we made them

You may or may not have seen on Facebook some random pictures of me. My neighbor, who goes to Tabor, is in a photography class and for an assignment he needed to take some pictures of someone. So I volunteered to be his model. Here are some of my favorites:

At the end of the month was my 23rd birthday. Okay, by the end of the month I mean my birthday was the first day of April. BUT I celebrated it at the end of the month because Good Friday was a holiday. So some friends of mine got together and we drove to Topeka (the state capitol which is 2 hours away) for the day. We went the zoo, a train museum (which was closed), the capitol building, and had dinner at Red Lobster.

Watching the gorilla chill

Some friendly elephants

we are that cool

An attack Flamingo. I have that face because he was threatening to bite me

Roommates!

Just hanging out on the tracks

Just hanging out on the steps of the Capitol Building

Our so called "band" photo

Candid shot!

Jump!

Okay, I am almost done. I thought the weekend in Topeka would be the end of my birthday, but it wasn't. On my actual birthday some friends surprised me with a birthday cake!

 And last, but certainly not least, I had a Skype date with my parents and sister and opening my present from them. And it was a Canucks' Jersey! KESLER!! Now I can support my team in style. (and hopefully one of these days Kesler comes back)

As Seen on TV

Ever wonder if what you see on TV is like the real world? Obviously it is never exactly like what is on TV, but maybe some parts are true right? Maybe I am the only one who thinks that. I have watched a lot of crime shows, many of which have some kind of information about child abuse or crimes against children at some point in them. While I acknowledge that things on TV are never exactly what reality looks like, I did think that some things were similar. But TV gets it wrong a lot. For example, ever seen a child abuse investigation on TV where there parents are the alleged perpetrators? The police do all the work on TV, but in reality it is a joint investigation with police and CPS because CPS can do things and get places police can't. But most often it is just CPS that investigates, except for in cases of sexual abuse and extreme physical abuse.
But what I really want to talk about is court. From watching court occur on all those crime shows I watch, I had some idea of what court would be like. Here is what I learned from watching TV: court is really formal; all lawyers hate each other because they are fighting against each other all the time; court takes forever, it is long and drawn out. Turns out those are misconceptions. I have been to quite a few court hearings now and they are not like at all. (Side note: all the hearings I have been to have been Child in Need of Care hearings (CINC) and all the hearings I have seen on TV have been criminal hearings so that could account for the difference)
Here is what I have seen: lawyers all get along. Really. In between hearings they can be seen chatting and laughing. All the lawyers. Defense attorneys, county attorneys (representing the state), Gaurdien Ad Lietams (GALs) who represent the children's interests. They are all friends. Which makes sense because they are also the same lawyers in every case. Really - in once case this lawyer is appointed to represent mom and in the next case the same lawyer is the GAL. So, since they see each other all the time, they must be friends. Court is actually really short. In all the hearings I have been to only one or two has heard testimony, and most of them have only lasted 15 or 20 minutes at the most. And they are quite informal. Of the ones that have heard testimony I have only seen one person sworn in. In many, someone has spoken from the galley/audience. While the lawyers are all dressed professionally (as are the CPS workers or other social workers present at the hearing) most often the parents are in jeans or even sweat shirts. And the Judge often talks directly to the parents or other members of the audience. Now some things are formal. When a lawyer speaks they almost always begin with "if it pleases the court" and if the judge ever speaks to you or you speak to the judge you are expected to stand up. But all in all, very different from what is seen on TV.
I also thought I would share with you the different types of hearings we are involved in. Because I had no idea, so you might not have any idea either. They types of hearings are (in order): Temporary Custody Hearing, Adjudication Hearing, Disposition Hearing, Permanency Hearing, and Termination Hearing. Now you are probably wondering what these are so let me tell you.
A temporary custody hearing occurs if the police have taken custody of a child. A child can only remain in police protective custody (or PPC) for 72 hours (working days) and then there has to be a hearing to determine what should happen to the child now. The county attorney, along with us and a foster care provider, makes a recommendation and the judge ultimately decides what happens. The child can either be place in the temporary custody of the state, remain in the custody of the parents but be place with a family member, or be returned to the home. Children can also be placed in temporary custody of the state through what is called an ex-parte order, which is when DCF, along with the county attorney, takes a case directly to the judge and the children are placed directly into our custody without involvement of the police. In this case a temporary custody hearing would not be needed.
The next step is an adjudication hearing. In this hearing, a child is formally labelled a child in need of care or not. In this hearing, parents have the right to contest the findings (or fight the DCF report/recommendation), essentially claiming there is no reason for the children to be in custody. The judge then ultimately looks at the evidence to determine the needs of the family/child. In all the hearings I have been at, parents have stipulated to the findings. Essentially this means they agree with the reports and recommendations and will not fight it. They can also claim "no contest" meaning they do not agree but will not fight it.
The next step is a disposition hearing. I have actually not been to one of these so I will give you a vague idea of what it is based on what I have heard and learned. In this hearing the court accepts a case plan, which is a series of goals and tasks the family must accomplish if they are to regain custody of their children. A case plan is created with the family, children (if age appropriate), DCF, the foster care provider (which in the state of Kansas in contracted to a private agency), and maybe lawyers. The judge then accepts the case plan (or tweaks it or rejects it). Some of the goals in the case plan are things like the child will reside in a home that is free of abuse 100% of the time or a child will reside in a home that is free of substance abuse 100% of the time. And then tasks will be assigned to show that this is happening or will happen, for example parents might be required to complete substance abuse treatment or age-appropriate parenting classes.
Permanency hearings are on-going throughout the life of a foster care case, and actually DCF is not involved in these hearings at all (in KS), so I have actually only seen these hearings because I was waiting for other hearings to begin. In these hearings the court monitors the progress of the parents in accomplishing the case plan goals and tasks. We always want the kids to achieve permanency as quickly as possible, we don't want to disrupt their lives needlessly and constantly. So the court has to monitor the progress to determine if the parents are progressing at a reasonable pace and reintegration is going to be possible or if nothing is progressing and termination needs to be looked at. DCF is not involved in these hearings because at this point the foster care provider is completely in control of the case and DCF has a hands-off role.
So, if the parents are not progressing and it is determined that reintegration is not going to be possible or it is in the best interest of the child to have greater permanency, a termination hearing is the next step. This is exactly what it sounds like: the parental rights are terminated by the court, allowing the child to be open for adoption.
So that is the court process, pretty interesting (at least to me). Which brings me to an important point: I find everything about my job fascinating and interesting and I really enjoy it all, but I am never sure what other people really want to know. So I ask you: what do you want to know? Do you have questions or burning desires that you really want me to write about? Is there something you have always been curious about? Please let me know either by commenting on a post, emailing me (tricia.elaine7@gmail.com), facebooking me, or whatever other mode of communication you like best!

Day in the Life

So you might be wondering what we do in typical day. Well let me tell you. There is no typical day. That was a let down wasn't it? The truth is every day is different, with different cases and different requirements, and different things we need to do. So while I cannot tell you about a typical day, I can tell you some of the things that we do.
Like I said before when a report comes in we have to respond either on the same day, within 72 hours, or within 20 days (for non abuse, non neglect cases). Most cases are 72 hours. Cases are only same day if a child has a bruise (so we can get pictures of it), is afraid to go home (so we can assess their safety right away), if the child is in police protective custody, or if the alleged perpetrator is living in the same house (in cases of sexual abuse or extreme physical abuse allegations). The first step to responding is to see the child, which usually occurs in the school (if the child is school age). I have been in on several of these meetings and find them really interesting. During this interview we are attempting to assess the safety of child. We want to know about their home life and what is going on. We want to talk about some of the details of the report to determine exactly what happened and if it is concerning. We want to talk to all the kids in the home, even if the report was not about them, to get a complete picture of what the home life looks like. Once we have met with the kid (or kids) the report is about, response time is considered met. From there, we have a month or two to officially close the case. When we are talking to kids you have to be really gentle with them. We need them to open up to us, but many are afraid of the consequences of talking to us or just of talking about the situation. So we have to encourage them to talk by talking about unrelated things (like school or activities they enjoy) and then slowly moving into what was in our report. Kids are all different in how they respond to us. Some just open up and talk about everything. With others, every word is a struggle to get out. We have to be prepared for whatever we might face and adapt to what the child needs.
After we have talked to all the kids we will talk to the parents. Unlike when we talk to kids where we talk around the report, with parents we deal with everything head on. We tell them exactly what is in the report and give them a chance to respond to the allegations. As you can imagine, parents have a wide range of reactions to being investigated by us. One mom came out, took one look at us, and started cussing us out wanting to know who reported her and why they would do that and telling us it was basically crap. Another mom, who was reported for emotional abuse, just admitted to yelling and screaming at her kids, told us she was overwhelmed, and broke down and cried. Many parents are afraid of us, worried we are going to take their kids from them. So we have to do a lot of reassuring and telling them we just want to ensure the child is safe. Once we have their side of the story, we offer them services if the situation warrants it. Family preservation services are designed to offer intensive in home services (such as counseling, parenting training, disciplining training) to help keep the family together.
Many other things can happen in the life of a case, but I will leave that for another day!

Snow Day(s)

Remember being a kid and really hoping to have snow days? I was always like that. Ever winter I really wanted it to snow enough to force schools to shut down. Of course, in the Lower Mainland, that did not require much snow. But it was still fun: no school, playing in the snow, building snowmen. Well I grew up, and I no longer like snow. I can handle it for about a day, and then it gets old. And here in Kansas we just got a lot of it. You might have heard about the storm that past through the mid-West. It was SOO much fun...not. Okay, well it was fun for a little bit. But then it kept snowing and I was stuck in my house all the time. And strangely, I just wanted to go to work. The snow fell on us for a couple of days resulting in over a foot of snow after the first night and another several inches a couple of days later. It resulted in 2 and a half snow days for me, luckily I am doing my internship and it shut down because of the snow. Tabor College, on the other hand, did not shut down. Nor does it ever really shut down. So, since my friends either go to Tabor, work at Tabor, or work else where it town, it was a lonely couple of snow days for me. We did get some fun from it. We attempted to build a snowman, we played in the snow, we even went sledding (there are SOME hills in Kansas big enough for sledding). Here are some pictures:

All bundled up and ready to go out in the snow

That is how deep it was in our driveway

My poor car!

Swinging fun

It was only a little cold down there

Sledding at the Res

Just hanging out...

Our awesome snowman

Baby Steps into the Deep End

Well, it finally happened. All that talking eventually amounted to full-time internship that began just over two weeks ago. I have now taken baby steps into the real world! And all my unanswered questions have been answered.
So what do I do you ask? Well let me tell you. I am a PPS intern (Protection and Prevention Services) which is a branch of the DCF (Department for Children and Families). PPS encompasses many things including: APS (adult protective services), foster care and adoption services, independent living services, and CPS (child protective services) which is what I do. (I hope you are all memorizing these acronyms cause I might start talking in them all the time now...or so I have been told)
But what does that mean? I know I have given brief over views of what CPS really is based on my own limited knowledge, but now I can tell you even more! So here is what happens BEFORE CPS gets involved: first you call in a report that you suspect a child is being abused or neglected. You talk to someone about your suspicions and all the events that led you to call today. Then that report gets sent to a social worker who does a brief review of the report and maybe gathers some additional information. That person decides whether or not the things in the report meet the baseline for something that is considered abuse. They then assign it as a specific type of abuse (which can be physical abuse, neglect, medical neglect, lack of supervision, sexual abuse, and a couple more) and assign it to a CPS social worker. And that is where we come in. We take that report and then we investigate it. We talk to the kids, the parents, and any other involved parties (maybe teachers, doctors, grandparents, etc.) We do assessments to determine if the child is safe or not and decide whether that child might need to be removed or if services need to be added. Services can include counseling, intensive in-home therapy, monetary help with bills, and many more. Now here is a common misconception: CPS does not remove the child. This surprised me too. CPS has no legal authority to take custody of the child. We either call the police and the police deem it necessary to put the child into police protective custody (PPC) or we gather all our evidence, take it to the county attorney, who takes it to a judge, and then the judge decides whether or not custody is necessary. Our goal is always to strengthen families and keep them together, but unfortunately that is not always possible.
So now you know what CPS is, but what exactly do I, as an intern, get to do. Well at the moment I do a lot of shadowing of the other CPS workers. When we get a report we generally have make (or attempt) contact either within 24 hours or 72 hours depending on how it was assigned. So I go out with them to make that first contact. I have sat in on several first contact with kids. Usually this happens in schools so that it is a neutral environment. It is also done because we do not need permission from parents to talk to their kids (to ensure they don't tell their child what to say or what not to say) so we can show up at school, identify ourselves (though in small town Kansas it seems CPS workers are known to schools), and talk to the child. I have also sat in on several parent interviews. Most of the ones I have observed have either been follow-up interviews or interviews where the parents were not the alleged perpetrator. But they have still been really interesting.
Okay, I have so much more to say but in the interest of keeping this brief (as if you could call this brief) I am going to stop now and save the rest for a future post. I feel like I have learned so much and I want to learn so much more and do and learn everything there is. I will share some of my future adventures with you soon!