Graduation. It is nearly here. 33 days away by my count. And then what you might ask? Then what will I do. This graduation is an interesting phenomenon. For 23 years I have waited for this, to be done with school. Done forever. Or maybe just temporarily, but for a length of time. For 17 years I have been a student. Interesting how slow is goes until it is over. Now I look back and wonder where the time went. It was so fast. Just 5 years ago I graduated from high school. Just a kid really, unsure what life was really about. No real idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. And 5 years before that, entering high school for the first time, perhaps that is the first step into adulthood. The first point where you have to start making your own decisions about your education. And then bam, 10 years went by and here I am. Graduating from college. With a degree in hand and the chance to get a real job in the real world. And suddenly it all happened so fast. Too fast. Sometimes I feel unprepared for this moment. There are still so many unknowns - what is life going to look like now? Where am I going to end up? What am I going to do? What is the goal in life now? For so long we are taught as students to get through the school year. You see the count downs on people's Facebook profiles, you hear the excitement when there is just one paper left, you see their shouts of 'freedom' when they are done. Rarely do you think of the final freedom, until suddenly here you are. 33 days away from being free from school forever. And then what? Perhaps that is the million dollar question.
So, and then what? in 33 days I will walk across a stage, receive my two degrees, and move on from Tabor College. That isn't easy, as the title of this post says. Neither decision is easy. I cannot imagine leaving this place (though I will) any more than I can imagine staying here. In the past two and half years (has it really been that long?) this place has become home to me. Just as much a home as my other home thousands of miles away. Maybe you have heard it in my talking...I refer to both places as home which confuses most. Maybe you don't know at all. But I have lived here for so long, been here for longer consecutively then I have been at my other home in two and half years. So how do you leave? With tears, of course. There are people I love here. People I don't want to leave. But the same is true of my other home, and it has been hard to be separated from them for so long as well. Life always changes, and this is the biggest change of them all.
So, to answer the question. I am planning on returning to BC if you could not tell. The family and friends the mountain and the ocean, they all call me home (even while I love Kansas, it is beautiful in its own way). I will be looking for a job in child welfare (so if you hear of anything, let me know). I don't know exactly what this will look like, and I will not be picky. I just want to get employed. Ideally, at the entry level I would love a job in CPS and perhaps the government will end their hiring freeze just in time for them to hire me. Time will tell. If not CPS, I would like a job working with families and youth, providing services, keeping them together. That is my ideal. What will actually happen is completely unknown, and as I said I will not be picky. I have already applied for random jobs that have some social work skills in them. And then I will wait and see. I do, at this point, plan to get a Master's degree. Probably in social work, but perhaps in counseling. We will see where God takes me and what fits with where I am when I go to take that step. Other than that I have no plans. Immediately following graduation, I will begin the long road trip back with my parents, who will be driving their 5th wheel. I will re-acclimate myself to life in BC. I will do a lot of job searching. And I will see where God is going to take me. I am excited for this new adventure. Excited for what is going to happen, even if it is unknown. Even if it is hard. The whole world is open to me, and I will find a door to go through and see where the journey leads.
That is what is next. A long season of changing and unknowns. A new adventure.
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